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Nawaz, Imran and Zardari share New Year resolutions

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Nawaz, Imran and Zardari share New Year resolutions

With New Year comes new resolutions and in an investigative scoop, The Express Tribune has learnt what Pakistani government officials seek to do in 2017. In a pre-emptive move, before the Prime Minister House issues a foreswearing, we need to express the data was affirmed by more than two solid sources and we remain by our story.


Nawaz Sharif

– Stay as the executive of Pakistan

– Pray that my pick for armed force boss be beneficial for me for once

– Eat solid – I showed at least a bit of kindness operation a year ago thus I ought to move from five plates of nalli nihari to four plates just to deal with my wellbeing and stroll no less than five stages every day

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– Survive the residency – only one more year left, don’t do anything imbecilic

– Go to London all the more regularly

– Drug Imran Khan to motivate him to quit troubling me

– Continue not perusing news or anything truly

Imran Khan

– Finally turn into the PM of Pakistan

– Realize the fantasy of Naya Pakistan by turning into the PM of Pakistan and orchestrate a dharna from Islamabad to Istanbul

– Challenge Nawaz Sharif to a push-up challenge in which the victor will turn into the head administrator of Pakistan. On the off chance that that falls flat, I will challenge Nawaz to a tables, stepping stools and seats coordinate. I should prepare into shape to get for the huge battle!

– Get third time fortunate; go ahead women!

– Drug Nawaz Sharif; send much more nihari to Raiwind

Asif Ali Zardari

– Get 10%

– Be important once more; now that I am very much refreshed, I pledge to spend no less than a moment consistently to consider Pakistan

– Stop posting images against Bilawal Bhutto on the web

– Stop sending Bilawal Bhutto instant messages saying “Abu toh phir mai hee ho”

– Amass considerably more wellbeing

– Consider really thinking about the 2018 races

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– Lend Sheik Rasheed my mustache wax to demonstrate to him some class

– Teach Sindhi to Bilawal Bhutto

Altaf Hussain

– Continue brutality

– Get in contact with Farooq Sattar; y u no get my telephone?

– Revolutionize Pakistan, or as I call it Karachistan, in 2017; MQM will come back to power and I will govern over the whole nation from 10 Downing Street

– Get Skype Pro

Shahbaz Sharif

– Make Hamza Shahbaz the King

– Find an approach to make the whole CPEC gone through Punjab; there will be an underpasses from Lahore to Beijing

– Get significantly more safari suits sewed for myself

– Make Pakistan ‘roshan’, or if nothing else introduce more bulletins in Lahore with my face on it

Bilawal Bhutto

– Make Sindh Festival 2017 superior to Tomorrowland

– Stop perusing instant messages from Dad

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– Continue working with a voice advisor and composing the screenplay for the Pakistani form of The King’s Speech

– Get daddy to leave Pakistan

– Get daddy’s companions to like and regard me

Shaikh Rasheed

– Stay single

– Get Imran Khan to accomplish more dharnas

– Make a Guinness world record for most TV television shows went to in a year

– Buy a superior mustache wax

– Make a Guinness world record for most stogies smoked in a year

Mamnoon Hussain

– Exist

– Stay

Pervez Musharraf

– Build a time machine and go back to when I was the president!

– Go viral in Pakistan by giving Indian news channels more energetic meetings; my meetings will make me president once more

– Travel back in time and win the Kargil war!

Maryam Nawaz

– Get another million supporters on Twitter

– Become surprisingly better at tweeting

– Beat Hamza Shahbaz to the Sharif crown

Pervaiz Khattak

– Don’t let Imran Khan discover I am subtly Jamaat-e-Islami, and not Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf

Tahirul Qadri

– Make another excursion to Pakistan; I am getting exhausted

Shah Mahmood Qureshi

– Do a PhD on Game of Thrones to make sense of how to dispose of every one of my adversaries and win the considerable diversion

Farooq Sattar

– Keep Bhai away

Parvaiz Rashid

– Be more enjoyed by Nawaz Sharif than Chaudhry Nisar Ali Khan

Khawaja Asif

– Be more enjoyed by Nawaz Sharif than Pervaiz Rashid

Chaudhry Nisar Ali Khan

– Be more enjoyed by Nawaz Sharif than Khawaja Asif

This article is a work of parody and fiction

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